August 11, 2026
The Enneagram Saved My Family — Episode 244: Katie Ruley
with Katie Ruehle, Founder of Enlighten Enneagram; Enneagram coach
32 min
The Enneagram Saved My Family — Episode 244: Katie Ruley
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In this episode
In this episode I sit down with Katie Ruehle, founder of Enlighten Enneagram — and it's a bit of a reunion. We first recorded together about five or six years ago, right when she was saying that first scary "yes" to her new company. Now, six years down the road, she's led Enneagram workshops everywhere from University of Oklahoma to Phillips 66, and she's still lighting up when she talks about this work.
At its heart, this conversation is about the Enneagram as a tool — a motivation-based personality system that gets to the "why" behind our behavior instead of just the behavior itself. Katie shares, raw and vulnerable, how it reshaped her relationships with her husband and their four children, including a season where she was really struggling to connect with one of her daughters. Her line stuck with me: "a better me is a better we."
We also get into something I care so much about — women investing in themselves. So often we want to fix everyone else first, and Katie gently reminds us the work starts inside. If you've ever wanted language for the things you've never quite been able to put into words, I think you'll love this one. Keep going — and stay open to the scary yes.
Key takeaways
- The Enneagram is different from other assessments because it's motivation-based — it gets to your core fear and core motivation (the 'why'), not just your external behavior. And unlike most systems, your type doesn't change over time.
- 'A better me is a better we.' The work starts with understanding yourself first — you can't fully love who you are (or your people) until you truly know who you are.
- So many women come wanting to fix everyone else — the husband, the kids, the boss. The humbling, freeing first step is to look inside instead.
- Self-awareness leads to freedom: it creates a pause between what happens and how you respond, so you don't say things you'll regret and you can connect across very different personalities.
- The Enneagram helps you love people in the way they actually receive love — Katie discovered each of her four children needed something different from her.
- Don't fear it — try it. Katie addresses the myth that the Enneagram conflicts with faith and frames it simply as a tool, not an idol, that opened up her own faith walk.
- Say the scary yes. Katie's whole business started with one DM and her daughter's encouragement — 'if not me, then who?' There's no failure, just feedback.
Chapters
- 00:00The visceral moment of finding your type
- 01:00Reconnecting with Katie six years later
- 02:00How Katie discovered the Enneagram in 2018
- 05:00What the Enneagram actually is — motivation over behavior
- 07:30Why it's a standout emotional-intelligence investment
- 10:00How the Enneagram saved family relationships
- 13:00The Ruehle family's types, stance by stance
- 16:00Why women (and CEOs) want to fix everyone else first
- 19:00Who Katie works with — companies, couples, and moms
- 22:00Common myths and the faith question
- 25:00Building a business around her God-given gifts
- 28:00Rapid fire: routines, theme song, dreams
- 32:00On following your passion and lessons learned
- 35:00Where to find Katie
“It feels like someone has read your inner diary and you finally have language for things you weren't able to put into words.”
“A better me is a better we. You start with yourself, but then you move into the people you love.”
“How can we love who we are if we don't truly understand who we are?”
“There is not failure, there's just feedback.”
Resources mentioned
- WebsiteEnlighten Enneagram
About Katie
Founder of Enlighten Enneagram; Enneagram coach
Katie Ruehle is the founder of Enlighten Enneagram. With a background in psychology and a master's in human relations focused on organizational development, she coaches individuals, couples, and companies — with a special heart for moms — helping them use the Enneagram to understand themselves and love their people well. She and her husband Greg have been married more than thirty years and have four grown children.
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