September 15, 2026
The Hard Yes Nobody Warns You About | Episode 249: Shelby Gardner
with Shelby Gardner, Author & Entrepreneur
34 min
The Hard Yes Nobody Warns You About | Episode 249: Shelby Gardner
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In this episode
In this episode I sit down with Shelby Gardner — author, entrepreneur, and mom of two "Spitfire" daughters — and I have to tell you, this conversation stayed with me. Shelby stepped away from a ministry position she loved almost exactly a year ago, not because anything was wrong, but because she felt God asking her to. What followed wasn't the instant "life takes off" moment she expected. It was a lonely, transformative year of watching from the outside, questioning everything, and slowly rediscovering who she is apart from a title.
We talk about her devotional — well, she calls it a heart study — Lily Pads, and I love the picture behind that name. Instead of seeing life as steps forward and steps back, Shelby invites us to imagine hopping from lily pad to lily pad — each season simply a place to sit, learn and grow. It's kinder language, and honestly, I think a lot of us need to hear it.
Shelby is raw and vulnerable in the best way, whether she's writing about hard parenting days on social media or admitting that her obedience often comes with conditions attached. Her family lives by a simple core value — "we do things scared" — and she unpacks what it looks like to actually practice that yourself. If you're in an in-between season and can't see the light yet, keep going. This one's for you.
Key takeaways
- Obedience doesn't guarantee your version of "better" — Shelby learned to stop attaching her own expectations to what should happen after a hard yes, and to trust the transformation inside her as the point.
- Watch where you've tied your self-worth. Stepping away from a title revealed how much of Shelby's identity was wrapped up in her role, and the year that followed let her rebuild it on something steadier.
- Reframe your seasons as lily pads, not a ladder. Each season isn't a step up or down — it's just another place to sit, experience, learn and grow. Be kinder to yourself in the in-between.
- Your story is not for you. No part of your story is too small — somewhere, someone will need the exact thing you walked through.
- Sharing the hard, unpolished parts (even a rough parenting day) gives other people permission to feel less alone and to look inward and ask their own hard questions.
- "Just try it." The best business advice Shelby's received: don't wait until every duck is in a row. Whether it succeeds or fails, the endurance and perseverance you build is worth it.
- Make "we do things scared" a family value you actually live. Doing the scary thing before you feel ready is what chasing a passion really looks like.
- Deep inner work matters — Shelby credits story work (a form of narrative therapy) with helping her uncover the parts of herself she'd shoved down for years.
Chapters
- 00:00"We do things scared" — doing it afraid anyway
- 01:05Meet Shelby Gardner: author, entrepreneur, mom
- 02:30Stepping away from ministry after feeling God's call
- 06:00When obedience doesn't lead to your version of "better"
- 09:30Sponsor: Five Star Painting of Tulsa
- 10:30Why she wrote Lily Pads and where the name came from
- 15:00"Your story is not for you" — writing to encourage others
- 18:00Sharing the hard parenting days on social media
- 22:00Rapid fire: coffee, theme songs and honesty about routines
- 26:00A dream not yet pursued: the storytelling greenhouse studio
- 29:00The hardest yes she's ever made
- 31:30Where to find Shelby and the book
“Chasing a passion is you just do it scared, no matter what it's going to look like, and trust that the transformation that happens within you is the point of it all.”
“Every season of life is just another lily pad. It's not a step up, it's not a step down. It's just another place where we go and we sit and experience and learn and grow.”
“In every part of your story, there is something that somebody else at some point in their life will need.”
Resources mentioned
About Shelby
Author & Entrepreneur
Shelby Gardner is an author, entrepreneur, and mom of two daughters. She wrote the heart study Lily Pads and helps run her family's real estate brokerage in Sapulpa, handling admin and social media. After stepping away from a ministry position, she's spent the past year rediscovering her passions and doing life "scared" — one hard yes at a time.
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